Mistakes Self-Represented Litigants Make
When you’re representing yourself, every step of the legal process feels personal. You’re not just fighting a case; you’re fighting against a system you don’t fully understand, against opponents who do it for a living. And when you’re already on edge, it’s easy to misinterpret what’s happening—especially when things change at the last minute.
I learned this the hard way. And it cost our family thousands of dollars.
The Date That Wasn’t Confirmed
It started with a motion. The other side’s lawyer had filed a motion—a request for the court to decide an issue before trial. They specified a date for the hearing and sent us notice. We marked it on our calendar and began preparing.
What we didn’t understand was that the date was just that: a proposal. In many courts, motion dates aren’t confirmed until they’re approved by the court and placed on the docket. Until then, they can change. But we didn’t know that dates on motions aren’t final. We assumed a date was a date.
Then we received word that the proposed date hadn’t been confirmed. The hearing would need to be rescheduled.
The Fire Alarm That Changed Everything
Before the new date could be set, something unexpected happened. On the day the motion was originally supposed to be heard—the unconfirmed date we’d been watching—the courthouse had a fire alarm. The building was evacuated. Any hearings scheduled that day were cancelled or postponed.
We heard about it through the grapevine. The other side’s lawyer sent communication indicating that the motion had been affected by the alarm and would be rescheduled.
But here’s where suspicion took over.
When Mistrust Clouds Judgment
By this point, we had been in dispute with the condo board and their lawyer for some time. We had seen tactics we didn’t understand. We had been on the receiving end of legal letters that felt designed to intimidate. Trust was not something we had in abundance.
When the lawyer communicated that the motion was being rescheduled, we didn’t believe them. In our minds, this felt like exactly the kind of gamesmanship we’d been warned about. Maybe the fire alarm was convenient. Maybe the lawyer was using it as an excuse to change the date for their own advantage. Maybe they were hoping we’d show up to an empty courthouse and give up.
We convinced ourselves that the smart move was to wait. To see what happened. To not let them control the narrative.
The Hearing We Didn’t Attend
What we didn’t realize was that the motion had been rescheduled—legitimately. A new date was set, notice was sent, and the hearing proceeded.
We weren’t there.
The other side’s lawyer stood before a judge, presented their motion, and because we weren’t present to respond, they won by default. The judge ruled in their favour—not because their argument was stronger on the merits, but because no one was there to oppose it.
And then came the bill. We were ordered to pay the legal costs for that motion. Not just their fees for the motion itself, but the cost of their lawyer’s time preparing and appearing. It was money we couldn’t afford, for a hearing we never should have missed.
What I Wish I’d Known About Court Dates
Here’s what I understand now that I didn’t understand then:
1. Proposed dates are not confirmed dates.
Until the court schedules a hearing and places it on the official docket, the date can change. Always confirm with the court directly, not just the other side.
2. Court dates change. Regularly.
Courts are busy. Emergencies happen. Judges get sick. Cases run long. A motion date can be moved for a hundred reasons that have nothing to do with you or your opponent. It is not unusual. It is not automatically a trick.
3. If you’re unsure, verify with the court.
A simple phone call to the court registry could have saved us thousands of dollars. You don’t need to trust the other side. Call the courthouse, ask if the hearing is proceeding, and get confirmation from the source that matters.
4. Default judgments are real.
If you don’t show up to a hearing, the other side can ask for a ruling in their favour. The judge will hear their argument and may grant what they’re asking for—simply because you weren’t there to object. It’s not personal. It’s procedural. But the consequences are very real.
5. Not every change is a tactic.
Lawyers do use strategies. But court scheduling is messy for everyone. Assuming bad faith at every turn can lead you to make decisions that hurt your own case.
The Cost of Mistrust
Our suspicion cost us money, time, and momentum. It set us back. And it could have been avoided with one phone call.
If you’re representing yourself, here’s my advice: question everything, but verify with the court. Trust your instincts, but confirm the facts. And when a date changes, pick up the phone and ask the one source that has no incentive to mislead you: the court itself.
Because missing a hearing shouldn’t be how you learn how the system works.
Why I Wrote Condozilla
This mistake—and so many others—is exactly why I wrote Condozilla. The legal system doesn’t come with a manual, and self-represented litigants learn by doing. But doing means making mistakes, and mistakes can be devastating.
Condozilla takes you on the journey of Clara and her mother as they navigate the legal system without a lawyer, fighting to save their home. Through their story, you’ll see the pitfalls, the misunderstandings, and the hard lessons—so you don’t have to learn them the same way I did.
Because sometimes, the best way to prepare for the system is to see someone else walk through it first.
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