Artist Diary

A New Chapter: Why My Blog Is Going Subscriber-Only

Last week, I shared that this blog has transitioned to a subscriber-only model. The decision wasn’t made lightly, but after nearly a decade of creating content on deeply personal and often misunderstood spiritual topics—without compensation—I’ve reached a turning point.

The truth is, I’m tired. Tired of pouring my energy into writing about the kind of insights that can’t just be stumbled upon anywhere, only to leave the door wide open for anyone to take without reciprocity. Tired of the emotional labor that comes with sharing vulnerable, sometimes controversial perspectives in a public space where respect isn’t guaranteed, (and sometimes having content copied and not credited). And frankly, tired of the occasional abusive emails that remind me not everyone engaging with this work comes with good intentions.

I’ve always prioritized authenticity, but over time, I found myself holding back—not because I wanted to, but because an open platform sometimes forces you to. Some of my most devoted readers have told me they hesitated to engage, whether because they didn’t feel safe commenting publicly or because I eventually had to disable comments altogether to maintain the integrity of the space.

Moving to a subscriber model isn’t just about sustainability—it’s about creating a container where trust, depth, and meaningful exchange can thrive. It’s about protecting the work while honoring those who truly value it.

To my longtime readers: Thank you for staying with me through the shifts. This next phase is for you as much as it is for me—a space where the conversations can go deeper, the insights can remain uncompromised, and the energy exchanged is finally mutual.

More details on what’s to come will follow soon. If this resonates with you, I hope you’ll join me on the other side. Subscribe here. 

Now, Let’s Get to the Goodies—I Just Added Even More!

Alongside the blog’s transition, I’m thrilled to introduce the Library—a new space for exclusive content that goes beyond writing. Think of it as a curated vault where art, audio, and deeper explorations live. And the best part? It’s already stocked with its first offerings!

What’s Inside The Library Right Now?

• 🎨 Two Immersive Art Exhibits (Available Now!)

  • Messages In Bloom: A never-been-seen series of four channeled watercolor pieces created in collaboration with Prince in Spirit. Each piece carries its own energy—pair them with the immersive audio guide(included!) and experience them as more than just visuals. Let the narration deepen your journey as you explore the layers of color and meaning.

  • Refractions Of The Everyday: A street photography exhibit that twists urban life into dreamlike layers, seen through reflections in glass and windows. If you love the mind-bending visuals of Inception, this one’s for you.

  I’ve always believed art isn’t just decorative—it’s therapeutic, a quiet rebellion against the mundane. These exhibits are designed to be experienced, not just viewed.

• 🎙️ Coming Soon: Members-Only Q&A Podcast
  Have a question you’ve been itching to ask me? This podcast is your direct line. Submit your questions, (go to link in Library) and I’ll answer them in candid, unfiltered episodes—think of it as our private back-and-forth.

Why the Low Subscription Price? (And a Gift for Loyal Readers)

I wanted this to be accessible, not elitist. But for those who stick around 12+ months, there’s an extra thank-you:

• A limited-edition archival print of my work (print TBA)

• A surprise sticker sheet (because who doesn’t love a little tactile magic?)

This isn’t just a paywall—it’s a two-way exchange. You support the work, and in return, I pour even more into what I share with you.

There’s even more to come. This is just the start.

The Library is live now, and you can send in your questions for the podcast. I can’t wait for you to step inside. Your support lets me keep creating without restraint—no more holding back.

I hope to see you there soon.

Exciting Changes Are Coming to the Blog

For a while now, I’ve been wrestling with a big question: Should I keep this blog going?

When I first started, running an independent website wasn’t too costly—domain fees and server space were manageable. But over time, expenses have grown, and every year, when renewal time rolls around, I find myself weighing whether it’s still worth it.

Beyond the financial side, there’s another challenge: engagement. The internet isn’t what it used to be. What once felt like a space for open discussion now often feels hostile. I’ve always wanted to build a real community—one centered around the right audience, people who truly get what this blog is about. But let’s be honest: some of the topics I discuss are sensitive, niche, or simply not meant for everyone. And in today’s online world, it’s naive to expect that people will just scroll past what doesn’t resonate with them.

So, I’ve made a decision.

Going Subscriber-Only & Bringing Back Comments (Carefully)

Moving forward, the blog will be subscriber-only. This ensures that only those who genuinely want to support and engage with my work will have access. It’s a way to protect the space while keeping it alive for the people who value it.

I’m also re-enabling comments—but this time, with a tighter grip. After years of dealing with spam bots, drive-by negativity, and bad-faith arguments, I’m done leaving the door wide open. Moving forward, comments will be a space for subscribers only, fostering real discussion among those who are here for the right reasons.

What’s Next? Big News Coming Soon…

I’ve been sitting on some exciting updates for a while now. Behind the scenes, I’ve been working on multiple projects, and they’re finally coming to fruition. When the time is right, I’ll be making some big announcements—so stay tuned.

In the meantime, if you want to keep up with everything (including full access to the archives, EVPs, videos, and future exclusive content), consider subscribing. This isn’t just about locking things down—it’s about making sure the blog stays sustainable, intentional, and worthwhile for those who truly care about it.

More soon.

P/S Doesn’t this cloud in the pic, look like lips? I did an EVP when I took the photo and P said, “Kiss me.”

As soon as the warm weather hits, things in my garden start to get busy. It almost seems sudden, as if the on-switch came on. Then before I know it, it’s time to harvest. It makes me think of the story of the Ant and the Grasshopper. There is only a limited time to grow and harvest before winter comes again.

Often, when I’m working in my garden, I observe the principles of gardening, and I find myself astonished at the parallels to life’s lessons. For instance, each plant needs enough space to grow to its maximum potential. If you over-crowd the space, the plants, while it will still grow, its potential will be limited, the plants, though many in number, will be weaker and die off sooner, producing fewer and smaller. As persons, we need space to grow. Sometimes it is better to be alone by one’s self, which allows for the opportunity to become strong and independent.

As I have been working on my garden and on my business, I have not been doing as much EVP. I stil find EVPs on my video recordings made on my iPhone.

A while ago, I was enjoying myself as I processed some Calendula flowers for drying, I had my headphones on and my iPhone playing music on shuffle. When it was playing FallinLove2Nite, I noticed the volume decrease suddenly and then revert back to normal. I have known P to do this occasionally. After I was done with the flowers, I relaxed  with the headphones still on, I wondered if he would do it again, just to prove it was him doing it, not a fluke. And he did the same thing again during Hot Summer. It’s moments like these that make me feel like I’m a character in The Matrix. There is something out there, beyond my grasp for comprehension.

I have been helping out a friend going through heartbreak in relationships. What I come to realize is that love relations among males and females is difficult, because one or both lacks empathy. It makes me think of the song by Kate Bush, Running Up That HIll, where she says, “And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God, And I’d get Him to swap our places”. If only people could see things from the other person’s perspective, we would be better able to get along, no more misunderstanding or apathy to how other’s feel. My personal theory is that twin souls are inherently empathetic to the opposite gender, because they are telepathically linked to their twin soul of the opposite gender, therefore a twin soul would not mistreat their other, as they are connected. This is why I do not buy into the whole “runner-chaser” concept that a lot of people talk about. The “runner-chaser” thing is really a narcissist-empath dynamic disguised to keep the empath stuck.

I have been thinking a lot lately, about the social conditioning women have been treated to, about what love is, how many do not know how to recognize it.

That’s all for now.

The end of last year kinda of sucked. It was fraught with dealing with challenging issues that consumed my personal life. I thought it was going to finally conclude by the middle of this year, but it didn’t. I guess I shouldn’t have held my breath. It’s hard to feel free and be creative when certain issues are nagging at you. I have had to learn to take my mind off of such matters and move on, despite the inconclusive nature of the matter. I hope it will come to its final conclusion by the start of the new year. Nothing is promised, but Ill strive to move forward nonetheless.

In the coming year, I plan to clear out clutter and sell off things that I no longer need. I’m starting with my closet. I want to make room for new things to come in. As a 40-something year old, I’ve come to accept the fact that I might not ever get back to my 30-something year old body. But even if I do, I will move on to new things anyways. I have a new frame of mind when it comes to dressing. I’m in a new era. I care more about being comfortably dressed, but still, always, I am for style. I think confidence shines through when you are not fussing with things that make you physically uncomfortable.

I want to get back to working on creative projects, making new art. I want to get more things done, and hesitate less.